Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Sister Josefa Menendez: First Vow When a Child

Yes, it is true. She made a vow to God when she received First Holy Communion and repeated this vow. Her confessor told her to tear it up, that a young child should not make such vows.

She kept the vow. It is extant in her childish script, a century or so later. She repeated the vow for her Communions.

She was not infiltrated by evil spirits. She did not need years of counseling or deliverance. She was a victim soul, a mystic, and no doubt at some point in time will be canonized a saint--if her religious community can keep her cause promoted and has the funds to do so. Regardless, her life was one of suffering after her father died, and especially after she became a religious sister, entered the convent, was transferred from her native Spain to Poitier, France, suffered much physically, had many mystical experiences, wrote them, and died at an early age.

She died on December 29, 1923.

I celebrated her death date as I do each year since I read her book The Way of Divine Love. Had made vows privately, myself, on this date, in 2000. Renewed them each year. Was vow to live as religious solitary. This year did not renew. Rather, avowed to even less, to be far less. But to suffer, yes. Suffering vows to be renewed, and the other, the life that goes with suffering--it unfolds in God's will.

Confessor the other day, in trying to reason and calm, said among other thoughts, "It is not easy to be sick." No. There is much that goes along with suffering when one does avow to suffer what one suffers for God, for souls, in Christ, with, through, in Him.

It is not easy. Mystery is not easy. Mystical love is not easy.

But it is worth pursuing. Yes.

[The rose, photographed in Agnus Dei Gardens in warmer, sunnier season, is for you, Sr. Josefa, with gratitude for your intercessions, and for your life example of victim soul suffering of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.]

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Message About Victim Souls and Vows

Someone has a webpage about "unhealthy devotions" and has included my site, quoted my vows, and determined these are negative, unhealthy, and invite the devil into one's life (presumably mine), and say it can take years of counseling and deliverance to be rid of the evil entities that are all too happy to increase the suffering.

I was made aware of this web site which says is by a Catholic who claims loyalty to the Church's Magisterium and lists various other evil devotions. Yes, some do seem awful, and lists known condemned persons, as well.

Unfortunately, I found out during a horrific pain siege, of which I'm yet trying to endure, and this web site did not help matters, as it also has a petition, claiming to send documentation to the Holy See.

My confessor has been trying to instill in me to ignore what people say, but in such pain as I have been, this site frightened me, upset me, and confused--all signs of the devil, as we know. So friends investigated this site, and found it to be by a person who denounces the Cure d'Ars and has some opinions about the Blessed Mother. They told me to ignore the site and the person, have nothing to do with it, and reminded me that some of the greatest saints were victim souls, and most saints and mystics of the Church take vows not unlike ones offered on this blog site.

My spiritual father said I am not possessed, friends have asked their priests of the situation, and I am reassured. What is disturbing, once more, is how Catholics can so vilify other Catholics without knowing them, and become vigilantes. My spiritual father reminded me that Catholics helped throw kindling on St. Joan of Arc's burn pile....

Regardless, I hope to begin writing again. Am not sure if it will be on Victim Soul site, but possibly. Or I might start anew on a site called Catholic Nothing, for surely nothing can be vilified about nothing. I am tired of the attacks, which are Satan in other people, if they'd stop to think about it themselves, and my confessor this morning reminded me that St. John Vianney had many negative things happen to him but got used to it. He also tried to leave Ars three times, without success. St. Padre Pio had his offerings to suffer, and he was hardly demonically possessed, and his sufferings did become worse, but was that evil entities doing it to him?

It is true that in possession cases, or in situations in which curses have been placed on people, strange maladies can occur and sufferings increase. Friends and a couple of priests prayed for my deliverance from any evil, the past few days, as a safeguard, probably most for my peace of mind which was cruelly disrupted by this "unhealthy devotion" site, which seems to destroy the good it could be doing, as it does mention new age ideologies, but runs down legitimate offerings and valid saints.

Another possibility for future writing might be under the topic/title: Gardens of Agnus Dei. I need something positive and creative--not the hatefulness that some Catholics seem to be tossing into the blogosphere.

I'm also praying about being hidden or not, as perhaps, such as the site in which the man does not reveal his identity or credentials (although tech savvy friends were able to dig around and find out who this person is and his suspect qualifications), it is not right to write anonymously. Perhaps one's credentials need to be mentioned in order to reassure others who may be reading.

Regardless, I have been offering these latest sufferings, and I include offering them for all who are suffering and offering their sufferings as victim souls to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and I am offering them for the man, well-intentioned and perhaps self-righteous in a sincere way. It would be better if he'd remove the photo of my blog from his web site and remove the quotes and his erred opinions about my life, my vows, my spiritual status. He does an injustice to those who suffer in the Lord.

The photo is one a priest from India who is serving in Vienna, Austria, took and sent me a couple years ago. It reminds me of suffering, in a way, as sometimes pain seems like it freezes our bodies and mind from any kind of active good, yet inside there is still warmth and viable life, and goodness, and prayer, and love. We can always pray and love despite the greatest pain.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Vocation Tip by Carthusian Monk of Yore

From a little book on contemplative life by a Carthusian monk (old book):

"If you possess no wisdom, no strength, no prestige, no nobility, if, in fact you are nothing, you will be the better instruments in God's hands. One thing only is necessary for
you. Be ready to put yourselves at the disposal of Him who is and can do all things. Have confidence in Him and in your vocation [nothingness!], and you will see how He can bring forth great results out of your nothingness. He is and remains the Creator.

"When Almighty God has impressed on your mortal bodies the sacred mark of penance, and on your immortal souls the still more sacred seal of prayer; when the irrevocable vows have given God the right thus to take possession of your human existence, then you will feel that though in yourselves you are nothing, in Him you are everything. You will perceive a divine virtue within you and proceeding from you, to give pleasure to God and healing to souls, and this virtue within you and going forth from you will increase day by day as you grow in intimacy with God...."

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Sill Here; Still Suffering

Just dropping by on this fifth day of Advent, letting anyone out there who drops by blog, that I am still here and still suffering.

I am particularly suffering as of Friday, as often we tend to get these sufferings on Fridays. Why not? It makes perfect sense.

Even have a notion as to why am suffering, and for whom, for what. But am doing all possible physically to improve, and that includes over-the-counter pain relievers, use of a little kneading pillow an adult daughter gave for early Christmas gift, and soon a hot soak bath. Otherwise taking it slow and easy. Missed both First Saturday Masses, though. Can't push the body beyond reasonable.

Spiritually am praying, loving, living, reading, pondering. Trying to remain in background, learn from Virgin Mary. Learning a Mary song on harp ("I Sing a Maid") as my novena for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I play it daily, sometimes more than once, as my prayer and love to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

My confessor seemed to really find this kind of novena special. He said it is "beautiful." I hope so.
The harp playing may not be so beautiful, as I am just learning, and am fairly old to be taking up an instrument, and a difficult one at that, and all the more difficult because sitting raises my pain level very much; however, I think he meant that the desire and offering was beautiful--a beautiful hope of gift to Mary.

I pray for anyone out there who stumbles upon this blog. I still hope to write more about suffering, about being a victim soul. Maybe not in the blog format. Maybe though. I have read more biographies of victim souls, found more obscure ones out there. They always help. Read the biographies of those who learned to suffer well, to offer their sufferings, to make vows of suffering--for Christ, with Christ, in Christ and for souls.

God you all for a blessed, beautiful, loving, suffering Advent!