Sunday, December 23, 2007

Peace and Joy Put to the Test

This hermit-victimsoul awoke with massive physical pain. The thought came of peace and joy: where were they now? Well, they are within the soul still, but nothing was showing on the exterior except a kind of nothingness, a lying quite still so as to not exaccerbate the pain. Finally, the body knew it had to exert effort to rise and find some medication, then requiring something in the stomach to buffer it, and then to ponder God and write about peace and joy, as if on cue.

Even in a dream, there was the pain, and laughingly, now--but laughing interiorly for there is no energy to laugh exteriorly--the dream is recalled, and the hermit-victimsoul was quipping to a priest about the name of the pain medication, in the dream.

Being still in the higher levels of pain, or perhaps in all levels of pain, the soul can then rest in the peace God bequeaths. Then there is a certain kind of quiet joy that the soul is not out of control, and there is an ability in the stillness to ponder Jesus on the cross, and to allow the body to consider its oneness with Jesus in this suffering. And then, since the mind and emotions are remaining subdued, in a kind of peace and joy the mind (made up of the will, intellect--and some add the understanding or memory) can also consider the joy of Jesus' utilizing this very pain in His work of reparation. So there is much to be grateful for, after all, in pain.

The mind started to wonder if the body would be well enough to go to Mass later in the day and to fulfill the glorious duties of Sacristan; but to think ahead was a tempation to jiggle loose the joy and peace, to disrupt it, as if one were shaking the branch, and the fruit might fall down to the ground and split open, and then be good for the birds and squirrels. But at least it would be good for that.

A victim soul must know that even if we come to times that we do not suffer well, and that we become distressed and out of control and seemingly lose that longanimity which means "long soul"--the ability to be calm in the face of suffering and to endure--we have not lost it but rather have simply become quite human and weak, and in this weakness we can resolve next suffering to try more to remain stilled. Yet we offer the dropped and split fruit to Jesus for creatures, all the same. Fruit of the Spirit is still fruit, and there is always use in it no matter if seemingly imperfect.

We thank the Lord for the fruit of peace and joy and all fruit of the Spirit. Yes, we pray for it, we believe we have it, for we do, and then we practice in the waiting and ripening of it, over and over and over. This in itself is a kind of joy, is it not? Yes! Joy is for the taking, even if the taking of it is merely a watching it on the branch--watching it develop, and knowing that it is beautiful at all stages, and marked for our souls to use in order to glorify God. All fruit is to be for His glory!


Post a Comment

<< Home