Monday, June 16, 2014

Writing, Sharing

To any who come upon this blog site or who have signed up for notices, I have been recently writing again on the site:

At some point I may return to writing on this or another blog site, not that it is of any matter or importance.  I continue to write thoughts on God and living the spiritual life daily and nightly.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Comments Regarding a Poster on FB

 Someone posted this poster on FB, and I could not help but comment on it.  It was from an organization that calls itself for highly effective women. I disagree.  I know what it maybe means in terms of the world and pop culture, but some of the richest assistance I have had has come from very miserable people who are being tested in the fires of the furnace. To see someone struggling to figure out his own life is a very real and honest person.  For those of us who do not have it all together and are not perfect, we can certainly benefit from those who also know they are not perfect and who are still trying to figure out his or her own life.  It is a process.  I find the struggling sufferers to be quite inspiring, actually.  But I commented, as below the photo and statement on it.

Don't ask advice from someone who can't figure out his own life. Rather look for inspiring and happy people.

This makes me sad, actually. I find that if I ask advice of people who may be unhappy, especially if their unhappiness is due to much life experience the hard way, I gain far more insights and help than from those who are "happy." Often times, I have found that "happy" people are thus because they have not suffered much. Of course, if you find one that is "happy" due to being in a lull in the realities of life and have come through the other side of the fire--for the time being--then that is good, too. They then can encourage and say we all come through the fire in faith, and also that person if wise will say he or she will be back in the fire again. I don't always trust those whose lives are sugar-coated. Was Jesus always happy? I don't think so. Scripture does not reveal that; He wept over Jerusalem and drove out the money-changers. He was not "happy" in the agony of the garden, nor in his scourging nor on the cross. He was wise, resigned, filled with love and forgiveness, and perfectly beautiful in showing us that we may not have happiness in this life, but in the next. I find some young people turn to me for advice because they know I have suffered and am not what one would call, in this world's terms, "happy". These are people with very serious troubles, and they want advice from someone who has not masked suffering. They know I have experience but also know I grow through it, and they want to do the same. They know I cry real tears and have had very hard knocks, and they evidently see something in my sorrows that makes them feel comfortable to consult me. "Happy" people, to me, can actually seem intimidating and not so real. And this goes especially if the "happy" people are masking their reality, for living a full life does not preclude a life of much suffering.

On another note, why do people for centuries find solace and wisdom in the Psalms? They are written by those who are plaintive and suffering, who feel lost and beaten down and betrayed. They would be not considered "happy" people, and thus according to this axiom offered to never consult others who do not have their own lives figured out, would not be anyone to consult for advice. The Psalms are so very poignant for the very reason they were written by those who suffered and were "unhappy", who saw those people who seemed "happy" and always had things going their way, but yet could not relate with them. Of course, these lowly ones in their sorrow and turmoil and difficulties, turned to the Lord, their Rock and Comforter and Adviser. I submit that highly effective people--women, men, children alike--live in truth and reality and seek help from God or those who are close to God. Those close to God may often be the ones who seem the worst off and struggling, but who cling to God and turn to Him always. That, perhaps, is the difference, and the sign-post of who we should be consulting and turning to: first God, and then those who know and love God and live the way of the cross. And, that is not going to seem all that "happy". It is enduring faith, though, that marks them. Not happiness.

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Some Realities

I recognize, after more years' experience, reading, prayer and listening to God, that the topics of this post have been confusing for some, and also have attracted unhealthy persons in other ways--those who do not understand the value of suffering but also the rightness of suffering that is allowed in natural ways by God in the vicissitudes of life, as opposed to encouraging or asking for or taking on suffering out of some misguided notion that God desires us to be unwell or to make ourselves suffer.

My life is going through massive deeper conversions at this point, and so I will leave this post here for awhile, but otherwise am going to privatize the previous posts so as to make sure that they are not confusing to people who are not able to discern what I've tried to express.  Also, in my study and experience of victim souls, I have found that the advice of priests and even the bishop who advised me for awhile, thought and believed, that I am not finding actual back-up in Scripture nor the advantage of their notions about victim souls, as it has come to more an excuse or condoning of then people being mistreated in some ways, as something honorable.  Rather, as the Body of Christ, we are to progress in charity and learn from history, and brutalizing or persecuting others was never something God asks us to do in order for some to be then declared holy or sanctified after their deaths....  There needs to be firm and solid intelligence in the ways of suffering; and again, I think that some people who were attracted to this site did not have the comprehension or decision-making, discerning reading modalities to understand the difference between God-allowed and nature-allowed suffering, and that which some mistakenly think they must encourage, entice, or create for themselves or others.

God bless His Real Presence in each of you, by the way!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Victim Soul Vocation Confirmed

Yesterday I met with my spiritual director.  He has many years as prelate and vast experience in the spiritual life.  I am blessed by God to have him be the earthly guide and guardian of my soul.

After much prayer and discernment on his part of what I have long sensed and acted upon the inner knowing of what seems to be a dual vocation of victim soul and hermit, my spiritual director affirmed that I am a victim soul.  He said it is quite beautiful.

At home, I had physical and emotional reaction.  My body realized how tired it is, and my mind was weary.  The emotions became intense, burning, with flames fanned by some key memories of two incidents in adolescence in which I knew something of my destiny but not in particulars--but had made an intense commitment of what I would do, without knowing what that would be, for God.

Those memories, along with the confirmation of victim soul vocation, coming from this venerable bishop, coupled with some powerful dreams of the past week, brought up an overflow of yet more emotion which drained the body and mind so the soul could absorb at some level subconsciously, the reality of what this means.

I share this for the benefit of those who have read these blogs and questioned the credibility and/or validity of the vocation of victim soul, and for those who have been concerned and wrote elsewhere detraction of what I have written in these blogs, concerning the vocation of victim soul in the Church historically and today, as well as the viability of the vocation for those who God calls either prior to their making an offering or later on, fulfilling their offering to do something for God not yet knowing what that was going to be.

God bless His Real Presence in you.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Hermit Survey Indicator Results Found at....

The current results from the initial Real Hermit survey may be found by going to:

There may be another survey, a replication of the first, with better response mode offered.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

New Project

Have moved beyond hermit label, beyond perhaps even recluse or anchorite, moved beyond victim soul label. Am devoting the present moment and whatever moments left with life on earth to the project of getting to know Christ all the more in the present moment, as well as climbing the stairway to heaven.

A new blog expresses the implementation of the Order of the Present Moment, hopefully climbing with Christ in the present moment...

An adjunct blog expresses the preface, introduction and structure of the Order of the Present Moment, with the hope finding and climbing the Stairway to Heaven. It is a finite blog, meaning there will come a time when the rationale given for this spiritual order, the structure written, revised, and finished. But it is in process, all the same...

Not that the writing is outstanding or the content relevant to any other souls, I am willing to share the thoughts and my attempt to live out the Order of the Present Moment, all for God, within the God-given circumstances of my life.

The project seems a culmination of the journey thus far, and it is beyond personal vocational labels, as mentioned above, and will express the turning more of the soul to Christ. Already there is a post that may still be a loose end from the temporal, yet those moments do occur in every day life, and will continue to occur. The point is to begin climbing the stairway to heaven, and living more in Christ, with His view, moment by moment.

Anyone stumbling upon this post is welcome to read the ones referred to, or not. The writing is personal, hopefully devotional or meditative, or will stimulate ideas for others' adaptation, or not. I welcome comments but will edit those that are inappropriate. Fair enough.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Amazing Grace of Pain

Haven't checked in for awhile. Have noticed some curious have arrived at the victim soul site, intrigued by another site intent on trying to make a vow of suffering into an unhealthy devotion. Some friends researched the group doing it, and report they are an extremist fringe who evidently are not aware of the many victim souls of the Church throughout history. So we pray for enlightenment for all Catholics. It has been amazing in the nearly 15 years now, of the life-long Catholics who have never heard of Padre Pio, for example. I owe a debt of gratitude for a Catholic women giving me a book on victim souls which helped me in the conversion process.

So, regardless of visitors to the site, only a small percentage of this group and in prayer that their reading will help inform them more positively, on a personal note the pain has deepened. This past week has been severe. Today I must literally force my body out to prune roses before the heat spikes. Much of a victim soul's existence depends upon grace and faith--plus learning to make acts of the will. Realized upon awakening that last evening, returning from Mass and turning right at a stoplight, that I had a thought that I should have turned left, gone to Walmart to pick up a med refill. But did not consider it for what it was--a good nudge from my angel. Now I must go today, for I need the meds by evening, and I do not like to, and have striven not to, go into stores on the day reserved for God alone. Now this short trip today will be offered to God alone, and in apologies to my angel and also in humility that a reason I did not make the effort to turn around was also a very conscious thought that I was worn out! I saw all the traffic, and I was already in the right turn lane, and the body and mind did not think it could deal with Saturday evening packed parking lot and store.

Acts of the will counter what the body and mind desire or think, however. May God forgive me. Yes, He will. But the roses are past due for attention, and the body has been inside all week other than finally able to get to confession and Mass. The body must get out to prune, which any gardener will know is not work but is spiritual delight and instruction.

Have been working on the project for Holy Mother Church. Today also will write. What a friend shared the other day when he and his wife visited, concerned the artist's perception and terms of the negative and positive spaces in paintings and photography. Did some research, and came across the term "ma" space. It fits in well with where I need to be. It is past due, and that is the stairway to heaven. Two years ago this month my angel said and led me to it, yet have I stepped the first step?
No. The only other showing has been like huge cardboard taped across the stairway, at the base, with only the top cardboard flopped down 18 inches or so. Even a cardboard barrier is a barrier.

Will be meeting with the B. this week for spiritual direction, God willing. Am concerned due to a dream, but am praying for verification. It has to do with the matter of a possible health issue, not mine. Yet am praying. What do do if anything? But first, verification from God.

We continue on with acts of the will, but the strength of these seems to depend upon the depth of faith and the awareness of and utilization of graces. Perhaps in prayer while pruning, each snip, relieving the roses of heaviness and drain of spent blooms, can be an awakening to obstacles, and a snipping of the taped cardboard barring entrance upon the stairway to heaven.

Somehow the bloom of Iris 'Louisiana Babcock' seems to capture the point of pain with its deep purple woundedness, reminiscent of Christ's humility and shame when robed in purple. Yes, the pain of humiliation is something for a victim soul to ponder, for it is a good pain, star quality pain, and to grab ahold of the bits of gold, reminders of the crown to be won, a crown won for souls. That is a main point of suffering, of offering the suffering: for souls. Souls hard-won for Christ and His Body which is the Church.