Sunday, August 17, 2008

For Yet a Little and a Very Little While

Love this verse and others from Hebrews:

"For yet a little and a very little while, and He that is to come, will come, and will not delay. But my just man liveth by faith; but if he withdraw himself, he shall not please my soul." (Hebrews 10:37-38).

Am getting so used to referring to "self" as nothing, that it seems odd not to, so will on this blog, as well.

Nothing thinks this clump of grasses or reeds, is like a little and a very little while, spiking out like nerve pain emanating from that opening in the body through which enters pain, which courses through the body as love.

A victim soul should not withdraw from pain, although it is very difficult in the face of human suffering. The pain screams sometimes, just like love cries out. Sometimes love is so intense that it takes the microphone and sings acapella, full-voiced. Sometimes it doesn't even need a microphone. Then, at other times, as one accustoms to the love in His pain, it seems to whisper.

Last evening, during Mass, nothing was sick with pain but thankful to drive Stella Maris (name of car its mother purchased for nothing several years ago--with a comfortable seat) seven miles to the Cathedral. During Mass nothing found itself making yet another offering: "Jesus, please crucify me once and for all, if it be Your will--or whenever--for I am ready to die--or I think so, as best I can think anything right now. And I am quite willing to not leave the hermitage ever again, if that be Your will. But You know best and You know all."

Victim souls can make offerings. Anyone can make offerings to Jesus. More blessed to give than receive, the Scriptures tell us.

A little and a very little while, He will come and will not delay. Wake up this morning, and the pain is singing its love song, at first softly and then quite noticeably, and nothing rises and gets some hot tea microwaved, and eats the third day of a peach cockaigne it bakes every five days (with whatever fruit has been on sale). Then it begins to write and write and write, and gimps outside in nightclothes (no one around since both houses on either side are empty at this point), and takes some photos in the Mary Garden, sets the sprinkler, and gimps back in, done in by Jesus' loving, pain touches.

Last night, after Mass, nothing was able to speak with its confessor. Nothing mentions a dear soul met via the blogs, who has e-mailed by the grace of God at this time, and encouraged nothing to get to Mass even if having to drag the body. For nothing yesterday was so depleted, it was ready to withdraw itself. It felt that if it did not get to Mass, it would never go again. No energy, just withdraw and suffer and be thankful to suffer in total solitude. A kind of loving, painful bliss. Nothing was feeling extra solus Deus.

So the confessor said that this person who e-mailed nothing the encouragement to get to Mass no matter what, was a very wise person with very wise advice. He said it was good that nothing listened to that advice. Yes, nothing is grateful to this person. Nothing Catholic victim soul is thankful to have received Christ at Mass and also the insights about Jesus' pain being love.

Then it drove the seven loving painful miles back to Agnus Dei, and there picked up the file from the past, and found yet another little message that seems possibly of benefit to others who suffer, and for anyone, really, for who doesn't suffer or who won't suffer at some time in life?

And nothing also realizes that to bury a gift out of fear, is not what Jesus was teaching in His parable of the talents. Nor is withdrawing what He intended when He allowed the Canaanite woman to beg Him to heal her daughter, and He three times denied until He had brought her faith to fruition. Of course, then He healed the woman's daughter and showed the world for ages to come, that Christ is for all and everyone! He will come, and he will not delay, in a very little while.

A Victim Soul of the Sacred Heart of Jesus does not withdraw. Nothing explained again to the confessor (after he assured nothing it had not committed mortal sin in its blog writings) that it wants to help others to know some of what victimsoulhood is like, in its very candid and human aspects. Nothing held up the current reading, Marie Anne of L'Agnus Dei, and said, "I want others who suffer to know that Jesus desires many to be willing to offer their sufferings to Him, as victims of His love for souls. The books don't always reveal the doubts, the anxieties, the despairs--the painful, daily, nitty-gritty of what it can be like."

(Am suddenly growing depleted, and will cease what was going to write, and put it in a separate blog, the message of several years ago. Might be helpful to others, as it is a good reminder and encouragement. Nothing is not going to withdraw itself, for it wants to please Him. In suffering, in prayer, in being a good Catholic, in being in process, in love, in faith, in hope, and even in writing.)

"But we are not the children of withdrawing unto perdition, but of faith to the saving of the soul" (Hebrews 10:39).


Post a Comment

<< Home