Saturday, May 24, 2008

Just Suffering

Noticed some internet information regarding victim souls, and a prayer of St. Catherine of Siena. I am reading her biography but have not come to the section on her stigmatization.

Regardless, I noticed other information that mentions that victim souls are chosen by God and are not that common. But, it seemed that these were commenting on those victim souls with the stigmata. There was some distinction between offering up suffering and being a victim soul. Well, there is, as has been written about in a previous blog. But, there is far more room for victim souls in our world, and souls ought to remain quite open to this vocation.

On a personal note, my suffering has increased quite a bit lately, and in this I can tell that my body has less resiliance, is more weary, and is facing more unknowns.

These unknowns are the vulnerability of keeping up a place to live, of visiting when asked and expected, of becoming more stabilized in the vocation with faith in that as the vocation. It is in the vulnerability of not knowing if one can endure, or what will be next--if the body will recover a bit more energy or not, if the body will be able to endure the suffering, if the attitude and emotions will strive for praise and joy and attain that (or maintain a decent level).

All is a trust in the Lord that is beyond the trust previously demanded of the soul. The detachment in many areas has grown stronger, sometimes rather frighteningly so--or surprisingly so, at least. The progression continues, and the mind is not sure it even takes note--and is sure it does not take note of many details but rather lets them float across the mind, not lodging in nooks and crannies, but simply floating on and out from whence they came in the busy world.

It is just suffering. Not just--but suffering that is just to endure, to be given, to offer. It is justifiable suffering, a kind of suffering that is of justice of God.

I am too tired to explain that, for it is just suffering, and that seems enough. Perhaps I will look up the word "just" in the dictionary, or anyone reading this who wants to comprehend it better, can do so, also.


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